the little things

This morning I broke one of my favorite mugs. I didn't even really care. I just looked down, at the broken pieces of ceramic, coffee spreading across the brick like some strange, pale, alien-ic blood, all tan and watery. It was one of those perfect mornings, I sat outside in the sun, starting a new book, eating a green chili cheese bagel and drinking coffee. And then I reached over to get another bite of bagel and knocked my mug off its delicate perch on the armrest. crash. Huh, I thought, that was one of my favorite mugs. I took two semesters of ceramics in college, and have a few boxes of various and sundry dishes, but few of them are really all that nice. This was one of them, but you know, sometimes you just have to say, it's a mug. Just a little, insignificant material piece of nothing. I wish I could feel that way about everything. A complete and absolute lack of sentimentality for material items. One could just pick up and leave, with a backpack full of necessities, and not even care.

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In other notes, I didn't actually break a mug this morning. It was just a scenario I played out in my head, imagining it happening, staring at the hypothetical result, and feeling nothing. It was amusing to me, to think all these things out, for some reason, like having conversations in my head that never occur. And then, because I wanted to write a blog entry, but writing about Spain was too daunting for the moment, I wrote about an insignificant event that never occurred. Well on my way to becoming a great fantasy writer! hah!

there and back again and then there again!

I'm about to embark on a mini-adventure: a quick trip back to Spain to visit friends, and hopefully see a few new places--but friends are the priority. I decided that it was a rather silly idea financially (to which my sister decidedly agreed--since when did she get all responsible and stuff?) but then, the timing was pretty good: the research job I've been working on in schools finished up before Christmas, and I'd been planning to quit my side job at an entirely too infrequently visited Mediterranean restaurant nearly since I started two months ago. The problem with working two part-time jobs without benefits is that you don't really make money.

By the time you pay the bills, and the loans and eat and go out a bit, there's your monthly income! So I didn't really have much money saved up, but I was looking at tickets and they were so cheap! And then a housesitting gig came up, providing me with three months' free rent...the perfect post-trip, no-job cushion! So I decided to do it. And I leave in 2 days! ¡olé!

Now, the other thing all this job changing thing is doing is making me think pretty seriously about a career (and, as my wizened older sister cautioned, it doesn't look good on your resume to change jobs so often--no one will want to hire you, assuming you'll leave after a few months). My roommate mentioned once that she learned about climbers who went up to the top of wind turbines to fix them, and this sounded like a pretty great job, so I've been doing some research. Rope access technician does sound like a job I would enjoy! But unfortunately though the original certification can be obtained in a week-long training course, you'd have to have some other skills

(welding, for example, and be certified in these other skills) and until you've reached a level 2 or 3 (several years' worth of work/experience) you might be hard-pressed to find work, unless you get on with a good company early on. A lot of freelance type of work at the beginning. So it would be great if I already had a side job, with a flexible schedule. But it's not an investment I can probably afford at this point, and also probably not something I'd want to do for decades (is there anything out there??) and thus I am, a bit regretfully, putting that idea back on the shelf. Next? (Ok, Kevin, you win...)

Well, I'll work on the next idea. In the meantime, it's time to take a holiday in Spain! And then get back and find a job ASAP. (It will probably be another temporary job I don't particularly enjoy, which will help me get by until I move to South America in the fall. I haven't quite figured the details of this move out, yet, but no worries. The adventure is there. Probably just for a year, and then I'll come back and be a real adult, I promise. Maybe. Don't hold me to that. I may have

been crossing some fingers in there, which is tricky while you're typing, by the way).

Until next time (probably next year), do something to improve your karma, drink some good tea, laugh with friends, hug your family, and wave to the sun.

To know the universe itself as a road—as many roads—as roads for traveling souls!

Here is a tale--no, less a tale, more an anecdote of recent times:

Over Halloween weekend I went to several different parties, donning a big red sheet, a pillowcase over my head, and a little woven basket: a decent (and simple) Little Red Riding Hood costume (Caperucita Roja). I had a good time, being silly and hanging out with friends. But the best part? At one of the parties I was talking with some Colombian friends and decided that I wasn't going to speak English to anyone the rest of the night. I thought it would just be funny for a while, but that non-Spanish speakers would probably get annoyed with me and I'd have to stop. ;) And then something very fun happened! I began talking to random people...and they answered me in Spanish! So I made new friends. And then a friend introduced me to some Brazilian friends of his, so I tried out my rusty/poor Portuguese! And then one of my new friends switched to French, so I tried to follow suit, of course. It is very probable that I mixed up and/or invented some words and conjugations during this tri-lingual conversation...but it was entertaining beyond reasonable explanation. I left feeling giddy and elated--delighted with these short interactions. Just what was it that made those conversations so noteworthy for me? Have I simply been suffering from intercultural interaction withdrawal? Did it remind me of friends and adventures I had in Spain/Portugal? Was it simply a linguistic libido, a mere morphemic thrill?

Let us assume it was some combination of these possible explanations, and let us also assume

this has not been an isolated experience. What, then, do I do with this unsurprising revelation? I love languages and meeting people from other cultures.

It seems I should figure out a job/career which involves these things. Don't get me wrong, I've had this idea before. (You know, the whole getting-a-master's-degree-in-Translation-and-Interpreting, etc...but so far I've come up blank on that front.) My friend suggested I take the foreign service exam...maybe should. Also going to apply to be a program leader for various youth summer abroad programs. In the meantime, the days are getting shorter and colder, making me a restless little gypsy, all bundled up in her down comforter and dreaming of days not long gone: of sun and summer; dreaming of new adventures.

So it goes.

This repeating mantra in Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five gives a sense of resignation and acceptance, though, in most cases, without seeming overly fatalistic.

I think that about sums it up for my general feelings right now. I've been working towards my court interpreting certification since January (each step/exam only happens every few months) and just got my results from my last exam: not a passing score. The next exam date is on a Saturday I can't attend, so if I want to keep doing it, it's not until next year sometime. I'd also

gotten all excited about doing Teach for America--the perfect solution, I thought, for becoming a teacher without having to go into more debt to go back to school! And found out I didn't get accepted to the next application step. So it goes.

I recently did job training for a new job, and I'm excited to be working in schools with kids--even though giving them exams will probably get really repetitive and tiring after about...5 times (=one day). It will still be better than sitting in front of a computer all day in an office. That kind of job just isn't for me.

At any rate, I've begun to get a bit restless, I guess. It's not that I'm unhappy in Albuquerque--

I've made some really good friends, am having a good time playing frisbee, the weather's been great, I have a garden (cut a most divine cantaloupe this morning), I'm close enough to home that I can visit for a weekend, there are beautiful mountains and places to explore nearby... and yet, I'm directionless. I don't know what I want to do with my life. There's got to be something out there for me... that really fits! Something that I love, and yet is useful/productive/valuable to humanity or the earth. Hah. Very specific, I know. But if I knew what I wanted to do, I wouldn't be writing this, I suppose. I would be applying to school somewhere, or jobs in a certain field or...

As it is, I think it's time to seek out another adventure. Let me clarify: time to move to another

country again! Maybe teach English, since that and translating are about the only skills I have to offer. I'm looking for positions in Latin America, mostly, though also Spain (if only!) and Morocco. I've considered going to a country where they actually pay well, too, which would allow me to continue paying student loans, and have leftover for traveling after a year... Though for whatever reason I'm not as attracted to China, Vietnam, South Korea... So it goes.

If you have ideas for me, I'd love to hear them. In the meantime, I need to go get some seeds for a fall planting, and maybe painfully pick out the chords on my guitar to a really easy song. Wouldn't it be nice to be a musical prodigy? I am not. So it goes.

Alaska: a teaser

So! I have returned from the land of the midnight sun with entirely too many activities/adventures/pictures to put into a blog entry. I'll just select a few pictures, and hopefully do a follow-up entry later.

Alaska has a bunch of beautiful flowers in the summer, it turns out.

And there are glaciers in Alaska!

And more glaciers! I am dazzled.

And foxes!! Taking home ground squirrels to the kits!!

summer?

I'm not sure about the title, as this will be rather brief, and I've been rather poor at writing lately. This is because, as per usual, I've over-committed myself and do entirely too many things. I think that's how I like it, though.

Anyway, in celebration of my upcoming vacation (first paid vacation ever!) to Alaska (!!!) and since I've been talking about it for about 3 years... I bought a new camera!! It's funny how it can have over 5 times as many megapixels, over 3x the zoom power, etc. etc. and still be less than half the size of my previous camera. Oh, technology.

Thus I give you a (brief) photo update of my weekend-ish:

I went to two post-baptism (Catholic) fiestas this weekend. They mostly involved sitting around and eating lots of good food, watching small children jump around in those jumpy-air-houses, pinatas, drinks, and speaking lots of Spanglish. I also managed to find the Women's world cup finals on during today's party and sat around with the ol' Mexican dudes to watch some futbol, yay! USA lost in PK's to Japan, by the way: it was an intense final. Above is my co-worker, her daughter, and I.

And this is my cute little cantaloupe!! I'm very excited about and proud of my garden; on Friday I picked eight summer squash. mmm. It was fun to be able to send my parents home with produce from my garden in exchange for produce from theirs! (They were here for a brief visit.)

Another co-worker. I thought the strawberry in the lower-right was a flower at first. Strawberries are much better tasting. Especially when covered in chocolate. (Remember the part about eating yummy food?)

I also played some sand volleyball with frisbee friends, ate lunch with my parents + family friends, went to church, and took an exam this weekend. I have no photos of that. It was rather brief. The test was step 3 of 4 in getting certified to be a court interpreter. That is, if I pass. I think something like 80% of people fail it. It went better than I thought it might, but I'm making no hopeful guesses, because I don't know how they grade and I definitely missed some sections/words... I will be extremely put-out if I failed, though, since the test costs 100 dollars, I can't take it again until February or March of next year, and I missed a frisbee tournament/chance to hang out with my sissie to take it. Obviously I still filled my weekend, but given the choice I will opt *not* to pay money to take tests I have a good chance of failing... We'll see--maybe it will all be worth it.

And, as is also per usual, I have been less brief than I intended, and successfully put off picking up my room. I've also been sitting in an extremely uncomfortable position for no apparent reason and now have a neck cramp. Time to sign off.

BLOOD DIAMONDS

I met a man in the parking lot

sitting in his parked car

he told me stories

talked of his life

his death

he's died more than once

showed me his scars

bullets, entered here

cut out there

He showed me pictures

child soldiers

a village of burned bodies

children, charred

skin peeling away from their fragile frames

and mud

digging in the mud

men, boys, next to each other

next to other men and boys,

dead

covered in mud

naked

mud on their eyes

in their ears

on their penises

but still digging, the men and boys

looking for diamonds,

its the only way to stay alive,

digging, all day

you stop, they shoot

digging

maybe a mango for lunch

well, breakfast, lunch and dinner,

the same

green, not ripe

Maybe your best friend,

he finds a diamond

puts it in his pocket

or maybe mouth, safer

thinks he'll run,

buy his way away

free

winks, makes a sign like "shh"

you look away, scared

digging, digging

Then it's there,

the barrel at your head

then a gun is in your hand

you look up to see your friend

gun at his head

shaking his head, no, no

they're yelling at you,

kill him, shoot him

he is a cheater, a liar,

he must die

you saw him take a diamond

shoot him

or we shoot you both

now

You don't even care

dying

you've been dead before

your family is dead

you saw them shot

you were dragged away

to the rebel camp

in the cold jungle

what is it to die?

better

it doesn't matter

But you pull the trigger anyway

they kick his body in a ditch

in the mud

kick you in, too

dig

You dig

around your dead best friend

no tears

no feeling

just keep digging

that's all

He tells me,

looking at the green field

at students, playing

volleyball

soccer

running

I cry, he says

to look at this

You don't know what you have here

they say this boy is twelve,

he shoves a picture at me

look, is he twelve?

no, he is just a boy

the caption says the boy's name, 12, in Congo

fighting with Rebel forces

he shoulders an AK-47

peering into the distance

they are ten dollars there, he says

he is talking about the guns

people here, they say they like to shoot

I laugh

you like to shoot?

I'll take you to a place

where you can shoot

free guns, free bullets

shoot whatever you want

see if you like it

like to shoot

I cry, he says

people, they don't know

they wear diamonds

bling

and black people!

they have no idea

some don't care

they wear it anyway

But it's blood

those diamonds

they buy

they are blood diamonds.


© lindsy r. glick 2011