This repeating mantra in Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse Five gives a sense of resignation and acceptance, though, in most cases, without seeming overly fatalistic.
I think that about sums it up for my general feelings right now. I've been working towards my court interpreting certification since January (each step/exam only happens every few months) and just got my results from my last exam: not a passing score. The next exam date is on a Saturday I can't attend, so if I want to keep doing it, it's not until next year sometime. I'd also
gotten all excited about doing Teach for America--the perfect solution, I thought, for becoming a teacher without having to go into more debt to go back to school! And found out I didn't get accepted to the next application step. So it goes.
I recently did job training for a new job, and I'm excited to be working in schools with kids--even though giving them exams will probably get really repetitive and tiring after about...5 times (=one day). It will still be better than sitting in front of a computer all day in an office. That kind of job just isn't for me.
At any rate, I've begun to get a bit restless, I guess. It's not that I'm unhappy in Albuquerque--
I've made some really good friends, am having a good time playing frisbee, the weather's been great, I have a garden (cut a most divine cantaloupe this morning), I'm close enough to home that I can visit for a weekend, there are beautiful mountains and places to explore nearby... and yet, I'm directionless. I don't know what I want to do with my life. There's got to be something out there for me... that really fits! Something that I love, and yet is useful/productive/valuable to humanity or the earth. Hah. Very specific, I know. But if I knew what I wanted to do, I wouldn't be writing this, I suppose. I would be applying to school somewhere, or jobs in a certain field or...
As it is, I think it's time to seek out another adventure. Let me clarify: time to move to another
country again! Maybe teach English, since that and translating are about the only skills I have to offer. I'm looking for positions in Latin America, mostly, though also Spain (if only!) and Morocco. I've considered going to a country where they actually pay well, too, which would allow me to continue paying student loans, and have leftover for traveling after a year... Though for whatever reason I'm not as attracted to China, Vietnam, South Korea... So it goes.
If you have ideas for me, I'd love to hear them. In the meantime, I need to go get some seeds for a fall planting, and maybe painfully pick out the chords on my guitar to a really easy song. Wouldn't it be nice to be a musical prodigy? I am not. So it goes.
